life lessons

一个靠得住的人始终还是能给你靠得住的感觉。
但，一个给不了你靠得住的感觉的人，永远都不会靠得住。

这几个月让我看清了很多事情。

the light?

spend time feeling upset for the right person and not waste time feeling happy with the wrong person.

this morning as i walked on, i felt the light shone on me a little... perhaps the zee moment is approaching.
it might be tough, it will be tough but i'll press on, i'll fight on, and make myself a better-tougher person. tough!

On the first page of our story
the future seemed so bright
then this thing turned out so evil
I don't know why I'm still surprised
even angels have their wicked schemes
and you take that to new extremes
but you'll always be my hero
even though you've lost your mind

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
but that's all right because I like the way it hurts
just gonna stand there and hear me cry
but that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie

Now there's gravel in our voices
glass is shattered from the fight
in this tug of war, you'll always win
even when I'm right
'cause you feed me fables from your hand
with violent words and empty threats
and it's sick that all these battles
are what keeps me satisfied

So maybe I'm a masochist

i am looking at jetstar's 1-for-1 tickets now but i dont even know where to go.

should i just click buy to somewhere, anywhere?
just let me leave on a jet plane.
just let me start afresh.
just wash my sins and let me go brand new.

the old & now

thanks to scurriying around in the morning (welll TGIF and no mood to really work!), i read thru entries of my old blog and hey its actually quite good to keep a blog because it helps to track how much u have grown/changed and also to find out that somethings doesnt really change..

so, from reading my old blog, i actually realised that i have slowly already gotten used to working and the working world. i found how much i complained abt having to be fake, having lesser leisure time, wanting to play and go out when i just started working. but now, i seldom complain abt such already... i do still complain abt having not enough sleep, but somehow towards the other things i am immuned/used to it?
good thing thou, cuz i have grown in this aspect.

some things never changed, because i still love my gfs as much! just that it took some time to find the real gfs but some i had, i still have, and always want to have them! LOVE U GFS!

i still shopped madly like in the past.
i still ponder abt the same things but perhaps in a different complexity and understanding.

all in all, i am still very much me, but just on a more grown level.
25years and counting.
more changes and counting.

i hate this.

how do you get pass this patch of ugly tough detrimental part of life that u really hate.

when people that u want to care for u simply doesnt.
when everything just seems impossible.
when you can do nothing but sit and drag thru it.
when u wanna disappear but u still have 255256132 commitments like, ur job, money, cc bills (fuck), hp bills, allowances, bla bla.
when everything just simply and totally sucks.
when even u are young beautiful and smart doesnt help.
when u just wanna disappear for good (eg. die or leave the country)

when everything u wanna do, u just cant do.
im so tired of everything.

at this point of time

i think my life really sucks.
my work sucks (thats 1/2 of my life daily)
my rship sucks
my finances sucks
my health kinda sucks (assume im falling sick pretty soon)

i think all that is kinda sucking me up. how great.
so i am sucked to feel suck. how confusing just the way it is.
just what did i do wrong to screw it all up?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?